Complaint Letters
At Chicago Appraisers Association our motto "It's You We Value Most" is not just talk but a solemn vow. As hard as we try to make clients happy, we just aren't successful all the time. About 1 or 2% go away mad. They just don't seem to understand we don't put values on things, but interpret sales data to reflect what their item would sell for. We don't decide if something is authentic or not, but tell how modern scholarship would recognize and treat it.
Here are some letters we've received. May God bless each of their crazy little heads!
Dear CAA:
Your ads say no charge if an item is valueless. We asked you to authenticate and put a value on our shattered Tiffany glass vase the cleaning lady broke. You told us it is now valueless. We want our $595.00 back!
L.P.
Sutton Bay, MI
CAA:
You asked us to tell you what it was worth before it was broken so you could make an insurance claim. We did so and guaranteed the appraisal to be accepted by them. After working with your insurance adjuster, you did receive our full appraisal value. We believe we've fulfilled our research obligation.
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Dear CAA:
The marketing research you gave us on how to sell our items was worthless. You didn't even tell us where to sell the black rhino head. Just telling us to stick the bronze on e-Bay is not good enough. We knew that.
P.D.
Illinois
CAA:
You came to our office with a van filled with art and antiques. We examined over 60 items in it. We did not charge you to give verbal values on these. You pulled out the two most valuable ones and asked us to research them. We're sorry but it is illegal to sell Black Rhino game mounts. They are endangered and not only illegal to sell, but you must have a permit just to own it! We offered to help you find a natural history museum to accept it as a donation. You wanted us to tell you how to sell the horns on the black market. We don't get involved in black market sales and don't have a clue what the horns are worth as an aphrodisiac. Your bronze turned out to be a fake. We recommended you put it on e-Bay as a fake and maybe some restaurant will buy it as a decoration. E-Bay is filled with such fakes. We regret we cannot give you a list of clients that buy forgeries. Our clients all want authentic items.
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Dear CAA:
You researched our old master painting and found it was by Matteo di Pacino of the late 14th century. We paid you $895.00 for your research and only received this information along with its value. How can you charge us $895.00 to come up with an artist nothing is known about?
R. A.
Colorado
CAA:
We regret that we cannot guarantee there is a lot of biographical information about any artist. The fact we identified any artist from the 1300's, where records are almost non-existence is a miracle in itself. We cannot guarantee what we find, only its accuracy and appraisal value.
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Dear CAA:
We paid you $1,250 to research two Italian old master paintings. You said they would be of considerable value. They turned out to be only worth $15,500.00 each. This is not valuable. You also have given us no help in selling them. We want our money back!
R. P.
Toronto, Canada
CAA:
We mentioned that we spend the summer in Italy researching such paintings. If you want we would be glad to give photos of the paintings to several galleries in Rome and Florence once they are professionally cleaned. We are still waiting word if they have been professionally cleaned. Italian dealers would not be able to see the quality of these two fine paintings through the dirt. There are prohibitions against exporting old master oils once they are brought into the country. Thus, it is foolish to show them anything to purchase without being cleaned. There is a gallery show in July in Northern Italy of similar heads of saints.
We regret we are not able to tell the dealer about these two works. We assisted cataloging his show, and these are better than anything he has at present. If you had listened to us, you would have had several healthy offers for your paintings. If you had them cleaned, the offers could have even been double the $15,500.00. Of course maybe you would still consider $31,000.00 "not valuable".
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Dear CAA:
Enclosed is my check for $895.00 to research my oil painting, signed Picasso.
If you discover it is not by Picasso, return the check to me. If it turns out to be an authentic painting by Picasso, please hold the check until I can sell it. I understand you will tell me how and where to sell it.
H. B.
Illinois
CAA:
We cannot guarantee the results of our research on a painting. We only guarantee its accuracy. All our fees are payable before we begin the research.
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Still have a few questions?
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answer them for you.
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